To my wine glass,
I never thought I would write this letter. Especially after everything we've been through. I mean after going to Germany at 19 we've been such good friends for a while now. You carried me through hard nights in the military, mortuary cases what I wanted to forget, the loss of my babies, and so much more. You've seen me on the best days when we celebrate a promotion, holiday, birthdays. But things have changed.
I know you've noticed your now covered in dust, and I feel like I must clear the air. I don't think you have changed my beautiful steady glass. But I have. And I feel like I can say that now on my own two feet. I took a step back from the mommy wine culture, and I've realized a few things. Our relationship no matter how innocent it seemed to be was unhealthy. I used a lot of reasons to have you at night. Every opportunity actually. I rarely drank to get a buzz just that glass of wine to relax. Plus, everyone says it's ok right......
But lately I wanted to focus on my health. See, it started when I was trying to breastfeed baby. I didn't use you then. And when you say your breastfeeding no one questions you. But then when my feeding journey stopped everyone was so ready for me to pick you back up and join in on the fun. The issue is....mentally I was still struggling with postpartum, and I knew it. Very few people around me could even tell I had it. But I did it took everything I had to get through a day, only to be confronted by you ready for you wine glass at night. It didn't even taste good anymore. It was just a habit.
Finally I decided to stop just for a bit and see how I felt. Guess what wine glass? I felt better. My anxiety and dark thoughts stayed far back from my mind. I've found I laugh so much more without you then I ever have with you every night. I even laugh when the kids have been a hot mess and my stress level is through the roof. Maybe eventually we can start seeing each other again for celebrations. If that's what I choose to do I know that's where it will stop. Because the women I have become without you is much stronger than the lady who needed to see you often.
Until that day
Take care
R
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